Kabbalistic ruler: Libra
Therapeutic ruler: Pisces
There is a tendency for the most desperate, the most despairing, the most anguish ridden and angst oriented states to come from the 12th degree frequency.
If I can just surrender my fears and have faith I can experience a great turnaround in my life. Letting go can completely change my world.
I exemplify the truth that what you resist you become. Whatever I try to get away from is what I'll be faced with.
My great challenge is to learn to never say never.
Kabbalistic ruler: the element water
Therapeutic ruler: Aries
I have a rampant exuberance that is often camouflaged and contained, hidden, or held back. I may have infinite capacity that I don't tap, or don't tap fully or openly.
With me there is nothing anywhere except personal soul discovering, exploring, unfolding, developing, working, and moving with. I always have to learn the most basic things. I always already now the most advanced things. I essentially live by my wits. Everybody consistently overestimates me.
Some part of me won't let me enter upon and enjoy the fabulous gifts I am heir to. That part says I don't deserve it and that part seems to dominate a whole corner of my soul. It takes a long time for the gifts and the magic to overflow.
Everyone has their eyes on me even when I'm not doing or saying anything. Other people feel inspired, enhanced, quickened, and challenged by me. I am at my best when I'm very expressive, engaged and committed to progress.
Kabbalistic ruler: Scorpio
Therapeutic ruler: Taurus
I am intent on maximizing my strength, which is stamina and incredible perseverance. I have a willingness to clear myself of any and all falsehood and restriction. I am overwhelmingly consecrated and given over to the objective task. I'll do what needs doing. I am dedicated to the task of finding out what's wrong.
It's too easy for me to feel discouraged, disempowered and disillusioned.
Cleaning people's houses is a perfect 14 task. I create channels through which things can happen, and often I don't even know I'm doing that.
14 is the battleground between "I can't do it," and "Of course I will anyway."
Kabbalistic ruler: Sagittarius
Therapeutic ruler: Saturn
I am the world's worst at perpetuating old models. When I am inspired, I am totally alive. I am very wholistic and all-encompassing.
It is necessary for me to have a light, broad, open style. In my true mode I listen, tune in to, and open myself to any and all directions as the impulse and the message arises.
I am able to open all my subtle senses and be finely tuned and exceedingly alive to the complex weave that arises when fairy and cosmic beings, the dead, and every variety of unknown intelligence are here with us. I was specifically made for a different world. When I am on my way to that new =world, I feel alive, engaged, free and joyous. The 15 frequency vibrates with Chiron.
Kabbalistic ruler: Capricorn
Therapeutic ruler: Mars
I need to boost the spirits of all I meet. I am pouring a healing balm into everyone, with something restorative in it. I am lively and easy to be with. I am subject to and almost at the mercy of moods, moon tides, follies and notions which pass but which can take a bite out of me. Life feels like an emergency to me. There is nothing I can depend on, no stability, just the meeting of what is in the moment and attempting to harmonize it with my deep inner self. I am always up against the need to crack through a shell, a structure that feels so thick and customary that it takes everything I've got not to feel intimidated, not to be coerced. I feel on the defensive.
I need to learn to give my all to the situation at hand. I need to put myself on the life. I need to discover a deep enough place in myself that can commit itself forcefully enough and totally enough to a new way of life.
Kabbalistic ruler: Venus
Therapeutic ruler: Gemini
There is not one anything in the 17 world. The 17 is seeking to annihilate what is false in it.l It knows it's i a false world and a false self, and can't bear it -- and won't bear it. It needs to undermine and sabotage its own disguises, its own agenda, its own trip.
It is dead set on something it doesn't know how to reach. It will get there but it has no idea how or when or what its going to take, but it will. It has a good built-in instinct for how to not go crazy. It just nows that you can't take anything too seriously or too much to heart because if you do, you will collapse into a heap. It knows that it must be ironic.
I do not have any idea what is going on with me in a certain sense. I have no patterns, no reference points for most of the stuff I find myself dealing with. I have got to make something out of what I meet in this world, and it really get to me.
I have got to get my insides to somehow come outside and be part of things, and it's such a struggle. I get accustomed to hiding out. The 17 is always coming out of a place where it knows all about things and then discovers it knows nothing.
Kabbalistic ruler: Aquarius
Therapeutic ruler: Cancer
There is no neutral space in the 18. The 18 is ultimately about witnessing what it's like to fall, and what it's like to rise. It chooses ultimately to rise, but honors ever stage of the process. It can be very temptable and susceptible. It is the most vulnerable of souls.
18's sometimes have a dreaded fascination with the dark side. When they get on their spiritual path, though, they are shining representatives of the bright spirit.
Kabbalistic ruler: Pisces
Therapeutic ruler: Leo
I am challenged, I am provoked, I am compelled to push my limits, to find where I really am. I make sure to keep the pressure on. I make sure to make it tense and dangerous in how it will turn out. I can push myself way too far.
I don't know how to be simply here with what is happening and just let it flow.
this wild part of me always wants to jump off that cliff to see what happens -- but when I'm not doing that the world is for me purely an excuse to be sleep, to be gone, to be somebody else. I can't seem to keep myself awake in the midst of life unless I resort to my youthful impetuosity.
I can be the perpetual adolescent. I can follow the adventure all the way and I do. I am essentially unable to keep myself away from pushing too hard and feeling where it takes me.
I run in impulse, improvisation. I am an outlaw, a renegade, a follower of myself. I am so incorrigible that each time I do curb myself, it barely holds for awhile.
I have a shadow self that doubts and fears the outcome of my audacity and spirit of adventure, and who draws to me people and situations to thwart me, block me, and stope me. As I eventually mature (which might not be until my 50's or 60's) I develop maybe just a little bit of tameness and ability to observe myself. This helps me greatly to overcome my impulsiveness and be far more fulfilled. The reason it take me so long to get to the point is because all this adventure and excitement feels so vital I don't want to give up even a little bit of it.
If, on the other hand I give in to the world and give up my maverick ways I can end up living in grief. Not a passive grief, but a burning grief and longing. This grief of mine is unused life force, untapped talent and genius.
The 19 is totally magical. There is something in it that understands that everything is rigged in our favor, if we're willing to learn from it. If you're innocent enough, you can just put yourself at the center of the 19 frequency, radiate conviction and all will form around you.
Kabbalistic ruler: Mercury
Therapeutic ruler: Moon
My destiny won't let me join any of the multitudes of worlds I could join, because I am a connector, I stand at the crossroads. I am the wider link and I can't swallow myself up in life's particulars in any way. My own priority is to be the scribe, be the witness, the onlooker, be the one who lets all the others know that this is happening here, and that it matters.
I am being asked to sweat it out. I have to work with my personal subjective self and all its opacities, illusions, densities and incredible stubbornness.
The main thing happening in this frequency is that it is being pursued by the Absolute. It breathes right down your neck ad you can't create any distance from it. It smiles on you in the shadows. It enjoys your falls and says, "here, here's a hand. Come. I'll pick up up." The 20 has a tendency to look at things from a state of almost bliss. They don't spend their whole tie there or anything, but it's amazing when they get it. There can be a huge kind of fanaticism in the 20, a self-righteousness -- where one tries everything in one's power to make the world wrong and oneself right.
The 20 is seeking to be a graceful and skill reflector of an infinite reality.